Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The 6 o'clock BBC News, with George Alagiah and Sophie Raworth

This evening, the message ‘my mum is not my butler’ was found written on a table in a College classroom. The message, which is believed to have been written by aliens and in some sort of code, has baffled cleaners and scientists alike.

Two plasters were also found stuck to the floor, by the same cleaners. The College will be putting out a statement in the morning concerning the decrease in levels of hygiene and urging students to consider their general behaviour in the future. If this occurs again, the cleaners assure that someone WILL be shot.


According to posters around College, this week will mark the first ever Peter Symonds College Mass Debating session debate entitled ‘Men vs Women. Come one! Come all!’, sponsored by Kleenex. The debate is believed to be being held in the Science Lecture Theatre on Friday at 1pm. We, here at the BBC, will not be responsible for any humiliation caused due to attending this event. However, we hope that the staff at the College will locate the culprit and remove the posters as soon as possible.


In other news, Beaky walked all the way into town just to give her sister a bag this afternoon. Soon after she was presented with the ‘Sister of the Year Award’, for being so kind and wonderful. In an interview that we managed to have with her earlier, she said:

‘Oh wow, I’m so pleased with this! I’ll put the trophy with all of my others on my shelf at home. I’d like to thank, ummm, actually no, I’ll take all the credit. After all, I am very near to being perfect and completely deserved it.’


We agreed.

NEWS JUST IN!

Apparently Mr Christian Williams will be making the long journey back to Winchester in the summer, and will be staying for approximately two weeks. Reports reveal that the Flodgers are pleased with the news, and are looking forward to the excitement that will result from the visit.


Good evening and thank you for watching (reading). Please join us again for more news on BBC 1 at 10pm.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ickle you make me laff. u is well mad!

7:30 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home